• No-Shave November, Reno Style – RENO 911!
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    No-Shave November, Reno Style – RENO 911!

    Uh, I got this in last night. The State of Nevada is trying to, uh, pass a referendum where, uh, state, and, uh, local government employees cannot have moustaches. ‘Has anyone seen this? Prop 5-5-1?’ – ‘They’re uh…’ – That is [bleep] I find that [bleep]. – ‘Take away our moustaches.’ – That ain’t fair. They will take my moustache from my cold, dead upper lip, my friend. I ain’t coming into work without a ‘stache. Junior, you was born with that moustache, wasn’t you? Hell, yeah. It’s my daddy’s moustache. Or he had a similar one. ‘I don’t want to work here without a moustache.’ ‘I really don’t.’ I…

  • Is Wiegel Dating a Serial Killer? – RENO 911!
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    Is Wiegel Dating a Serial Killer? – RENO 911!

    (Dangle) ‘Good morning, people.’ Well, apparently, the Hells Angels who own that brothel out there, out on 80… They’re doing a program, uh, hand in your gun for a, uh… [clicks tongue] Uh, ***. – ‘Hand job?’ – Yeah. “Hand guns for hand job ***.” That’s what the poster said. Yeah, they wanted us to sponsor that, you know but, uh, up there said, “Unh-unh.” [knock on door] – Hey, guys. – Can I help you, sir? Uh, just the lady out, out front said that maybe I could talk to Trudy for a second. The lady out front was wrong, sir. We are in a meeting. She is working…

  • Alien Shooting – RENO 911!
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    Alien Shooting – RENO 911!

    [indistinct radio chatter] – Sheriff’s department! – Sheriff’s department! Frisbee! (Garcia) ‘Chandler, Ross, Joey’ ‘Oliver, Greg, get in the house!’ ‘Get in the house!’ (Garcia) ‘How are we doin’ today? How are we doin’?’ We got a call down there at the department uh, some, uh, aircraft takin’ off from, uh, Reno airport’s been receivin’ some, uh, fire, some, uh, bullet rounds. (Frisbee) ‘What airline was it?’ (Garcia) Uh… Doesn’t really matter, Frisbee, honestly… I don’t shoot at airlines. Alien aircraft. (Garcia) ‘You only shoot at alien aircraft?’ What I think is alien aircraft, ET stuff. (Garcia) Uh-huh, how would you distinguish that from regular aircraft? It’s got aliens in…