• Demetri Martin Stand-up
    Articles,  Blog

    Demetri Martin Stand-up

    >>ALL RIGHT! THANKS A LOT EVERYBODY. THANK YOU. I’M REALLY HAPPY TO BE BACK ON THE SHOW. I HAD A LOT OF FUN LAST TIME AND WHEN THEY ASKED ME TO DO THE SHOW THIS TIME I WAS PSYCHED, BECAUSE THE TIMING IS PERFECT. I HAVE A BUNCH OF TOUR DATES LINED UP, GOING TO DIFFERENTLY CITIES. I MENTIONED THAT TO THE PRODUCERS BACKSTAGE, THEY SAID DON’T MENTION THE CITIES, DON’T DO COMEDY NOT LIKE A COMMERCIAL, DON’T SELL MYSELF. ABSOLUTELY. I’M A COMEDIAN, I HAVE JOKES, I’M EXCITED TO TELL THEM, JUST TO MAKE SURE WHAT YOU’RE SAYING IS DON’T GO OUT THERE AND SAY FOR EXAMPLE I’M GOING…

  • The Continental Breakfast Guy Goes on an Airplane – Key & Peele
    Articles,  Blog

    The Continental Breakfast Guy Goes on an Airplane – Key & Peele

    Excuse me. Oh, excuse me, sir. Are you sitting in 26G? Yes. Have I done something wrong? No, no, no, no, we just wanted to ask if you would mind switching seats so that a mother and a child could sit together. But I’m back there. Right, yeah, but you’d actually be sitting here… [gentle harp flourish] Which is in Economy Plus. It’s actually an upgrade. Upgrade, you say. Mm-hmm. Economy Plus. Yes, sir. Oh. Don’t mind if I do. Great, great. Carry-on? Carry on yourself, Alex. Thank you. [classical music] Economy Plus. Mm, for the discerning passenger. [chuckles] [chuckles] We’re not in Kansas anymore, Toto. (man over PA) Ladies…

  • StubHub Offers Loans for Tickets to the Big Game (feat. Tim Dillon) – Lights Out with David Spade
    Articles,  Blog

    StubHub Offers Loans for Tickets to the Big Game (feat. Tim Dillon) – Lights Out with David Spade

    If you’ve ever thought, “How can I be more in debt,” this story’s for you. Uh, ticket broker StubHub is offering loans to buy Super Bowl tickets, tickets between 5 grand and $17,000, with interest rates between 10% and 30%, -which means 30%. -(groaning) This is horrifying. You want to char– Get (bleep)ed. First of all, it… StubHub, no offense, is already bad enough. -Like, you’re scalping. You’re already getting jacked. -Right. And they want to– Uh, it’s like a new loan sh– It’s weird. Go ahead. I’m sorry. I’m getting worked up. -I… -But it-it’s, like, pr-priorities, right? Like, this is where we are in America with priorities. You–…

  • Kelly Surprises Fan With Grammy Tickets | Sneak Peek
    Articles,  Blog

    Kelly Surprises Fan With Grammy Tickets | Sneak Peek

    (audience applause) – All right, who’s the one that Sit Still, Look Pretty, who requested that song? Where’s Nicole? Hi Nicole. Nicole you might be my height. – Hi. (laughing) I know I’m short. – I am too, it’s okay. – You’re amazing. – Great things – in small packages, that’s what I say. – [Nicole] I agree, yes. You’re so amazing. – Why do you love this song? – I love this song because I’ve been single for a long time and this song has always really impacted me, and being strong and knowing that I’m never gonna settle for anything less than I deserve. (audience applauds) I don’t…

  • THE TIME TRAVEL | Angry Prash
    Articles,  Blog

    THE TIME TRAVEL | Angry Prash

    (Plane Sound) Brother! hmmmm Why are we suddenly going to Africa? Aye just had a thought, we didn’t go anywhere from a long time, so this time Africa Very good Brother, you are great! hmmmm After four years I have managed to impress a girl! what Africa, for her I can even go to the moon Brother tell me one thing? Say! the wheels of the plane are in the air yeah? then if we apply breaks, how will it stop? (music) Ayee! get the plane down, Get the plane down now! Sir! SIr! What happened? you tell me I will help you! do you think our life is like…

  • Articles

    Michael Moore Thinks an All-Women Democratic Presidential Ticket Would Win

    -You’ve been honest about a couple things. One, you have endorsed Bernie Sanders. -Yes. -And, two, you have encouraged all Democrats to do the same, which is, whoever the nominee is, you will support. -Absolutely. Yes, yes. -And — [ Cheers and applause ] -In fact, I just — I thought, all of us — We are coming. Trump. Where is Trump? Which one is he? -He usually watches on that camera, yeah. -Okay. We, on November 3rd, are coming. And we are large. Our army — [ Cheers and applause ] It doesn’t matter. I mean, seriously, he — They had a poll last month. A literal, actual poll.…

  • Things No One Wants to Admit About Air Travel
    Articles,  Blog

    Things No One Wants to Admit About Air Travel

    So, I just got back from a trip, and there’s something I noticed. Whenever I travel, I hate everybody. [ Laughter ] Everything about air travel is a nightmare, and it all starts at the airport. Like, how are people in the security line still confused about the rules?! I was once behind a man — This is a true story. I was once behind a man who had to go through the metal detector five times because he had loose coins in every single one of his pockets. And I’m just like, “Fam, how many vending machines do you think your plane is going to have?” [ Laughter ]…