• International Travel
    Articles,  Blog

    International Travel

    – I travel a lot. I’m constantly going through security, always behind that person that’s never left their house before. (audience laughs) They always want to ask me questions like, “Can I bring soup on the plane? (audience laughs) “It’s homemade soup.” I’m like, “Uh, you should ask them.” “For an ID, can I use a fishing license?” (audience laughs) “Uh, you should–” “Should I take off my shoes and my pants?” (audience laughs) “Yes, you should.” (audience laughs and claps) Airport security’s annoying. It’s nothing compared to international travel, like going through customs and immigration. That’s so intense. They’re dressed like SWAT team members. (audience laughs) I always get…

  • Key & Peele – Andre and Meegan’s First Date  – Uncensored
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    Key & Peele – Andre and Meegan’s First Date – Uncensored

    [laughter] God, the moment I saw you last night in the club, totally had to ask you out. Are you kidding me? Like, the moment? – Oh, yeah. – That’s so sweet. And I was actually afraid that you were going to be, like, one of those high-maintenance chicks, you know? – What? – Yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah. I don’t know. Control freak or– I don’t even know. Oh, my God. That’s so funny. Isn’t it? Is it? Is it funny? Is it funny? No. I’m, like, I totally just like to be just easygoing. – Yeah, yeah. – Hi, I’m Wayne. – I’ll be your waiter. – It’s been…

  • Hungama – Hindi Movies Full Movie | Akshaye Khanna, Paresh Rawal | Hindi Full Comedy Movies
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    Hungama – Hindi Movies Full Movie | Akshaye Khanna, Paresh Rawal | Hindi Full Comedy Movies

    Fun and excitement… all the fun and excitement Fun and excitement… all the fun and excitement Is it love, or a battle? A colour you canít see… I can figure out nothing, Lord! Everyoneís all tied up, what predicament is this? They walk together, and yet is there a tussle Everyoneís all tied up, what predicament is this? They walk together, and yet is there a tussle To make them see reason… is difficult to make them see reason The actors that perform in this play… they do perform a drama Fun and excitement… all the fun and excitement Hurry! Itís time for school Jungle! Rascal! Idiot! – Step on…

  • Trump Threatens to Obliterate Turkey’s Economy
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    Trump Threatens to Obliterate Turkey’s Economy

    -Let’s get to some news here, guys. Today a federal judge ordered President Trump to turn over eight years of his tax returns. I’m not saying it’s bad, but right now Trump’s accountant is climbing over his border wall into Mexico. -Really? [ Laughter ] -Well, people are still talking about the impeachment. I saw that Trump said it’s a bad thing to have on his résumé. [ Laughter ] The only thing worse than having impeachment on your résumé is having Rudy Giuliani as your only reference. [ Laughter ] I kind of like the idea of Trump even having a résumé. Though I’m pretty sure under skills, all…

  • Inside Amy Schumer – Time Travel
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    Inside Amy Schumer – Time Travel

    So then Jeff was like, “What’s your excuse for being late today?” And I was like, “I don’t have an excuse, I have a reason.” Good for you. If your body oversleeps, it’s because it needs it. Shh. Will you stop it? That’s what got us kicked out of Guy Fieri’s restaurant. Don’t say I never offered. (giggling) Let’s move in together. It’s only been two weeks. When you know, you know. Yeah. You’re low-maintenance and it just feels okay. It feels right to me, too. Plus, my roommate’s all over me about rent. She’s your stepmom. Why is she even charging you? I don’t know. Mmm. I’m gonna hit…

  • No-Shave November, Reno Style – RENO 911!
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    No-Shave November, Reno Style – RENO 911!

    Uh, I got this in last night. The State of Nevada is trying to, uh, pass a referendum where, uh, state, and, uh, local government employees cannot have moustaches. ‘Has anyone seen this? Prop 5-5-1?’ – ‘They’re uh…’ – That is [bleep] I find that [bleep]. – ‘Take away our moustaches.’ – That ain’t fair. They will take my moustache from my cold, dead upper lip, my friend. I ain’t coming into work without a ‘stache. Junior, you was born with that moustache, wasn’t you? Hell, yeah. It’s my daddy’s moustache. Or he had a similar one. ‘I don’t want to work here without a moustache.’ ‘I really don’t.’ I…

  • Key & Peele – White-Sounding Black Guys
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    Key & Peele – White-Sounding Black Guys

    WELCOME TO THE SHOW, EVERYBODY. I AM KEEGAN. – I AM JORDAN. – AND THIS IS KEY & PEELE. THANK YOU, YES. THANK YOU. [cheers and applause] JORDAN AND I ARE– WE’RE BIRACIAL. – YES, HALF BLACK, HALF WHITE. – AND BECAUSE OF THAT, WE FIND OURSELVES PARTICULARLY ADEPT AT LYING. BECAUSE ON A DAILY BASIS WE HAVE TO ADJUST OUR BLACKNESS. – YES. – YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN? – OH, NO, THERE’S MANY REASONS WE DO THAT. – YEAH. – I MEAN, TO TERRIFY WHITE PEOPLE. – YES, THAT’S ONE OF THE MAIN REASONS. ONE OF THE MAIN REASONS, YEAH. – BECAUSE, I MEAN, YOU KNOW, WITH THE…

  • President Trump’s Muslim-Targeted Travel Ban: The Daily Show
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    President Trump’s Muslim-Targeted Travel Ban: The Daily Show

    Let’s get into tonight’s show, and the start of week two of the Donald Trump Presidency. TV REPORTER:Chaotic scenes erupting at airportsaround the world.TV REPORTER:Protests all across the country.TV REPORTER:Denounce President Trump’s temporary banon travelers from seven mostly Muslim countries.TV REPORTER:Lawyers descending on airports.TV REPORTER: Chaos and confusion.Is this the America that we believe in? CROWD: No! -Is this liberty? -CROWD: No! Do you understand how insane this is? People in the airport were pissed, and it’s not because they’re at the airport. Welcome to Trump’s America. That’s how bad “The Donald” is. No matter how bad the situation you’re in, Donald Trump can always make it worse. Like, there…

  • Black People Telepathy – Key & Peele
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    Black People Telepathy – Key & Peele

    ALL THE WAY DOWN AT THE END. – MM-HMM. – YOU HAVE YOUR OWN ATTACHED BATHROOM, BY THE WAY. OH, UM, HERE’S ONE OF OUR BEST RESEARCHERS. DICK? – HEY. – AH, HELLO THERE. [dramatic music] WHAT’S UP, DUDE? GLAD TO SEE THERE’S ANOTHER BROTHER IN THIS STUFFY PLACE. – SO, UH, THIS IS GONNA BE YOUR ASSISTANT, GENEVIEVE. [dramatic music] – WHAT IS THIS? – IT’S THE SHINING, MAN. ALL BLACK PEOPLE HAVE THE SHINING. YOU NEVER SHINED WITH ANOTHER BLACK PERSON BEFORE? – NO, I GREW UP IN A WHITE NEIGHBORHOOD AND THEN WENT TO DARTMOUTH. I’VE MET OTHER BLACK PEOPLE BEFORE, BUT NOT LIKE THIS. – YOU…