• Key & Peele – Andre and Meegan’s First Date  – Uncensored
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    Key & Peele – Andre and Meegan’s First Date – Uncensored

    [laughter] God, the moment I saw you last night in the club, totally had to ask you out. Are you kidding me? Like, the moment? – Oh, yeah. – That’s so sweet. And I was actually afraid that you were going to be, like, one of those high-maintenance chicks, you know? – What? – Yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah. I don’t know. Control freak or– I don’t even know. Oh, my God. That’s so funny. Isn’t it? Is it? Is it funny? Is it funny? No. I’m, like, I totally just like to be just easygoing. – Yeah, yeah. – Hi, I’m Wayne. – I’ll be your waiter. – It’s been…

  • Inside Amy Schumer – Time Travel
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    Inside Amy Schumer – Time Travel

    So then Jeff was like, “What’s your excuse for being late today?” And I was like, “I don’t have an excuse, I have a reason.” Good for you. If your body oversleeps, it’s because it needs it. Shh. Will you stop it? That’s what got us kicked out of Guy Fieri’s restaurant. Don’t say I never offered. (giggling) Let’s move in together. It’s only been two weeks. When you know, you know. Yeah. You’re low-maintenance and it just feels okay. It feels right to me, too. Plus, my roommate’s all over me about rent. She’s your stepmom. Why is she even charging you? I don’t know. Mmm. I’m gonna hit…

  • No-Shave November, Reno Style – RENO 911!
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    No-Shave November, Reno Style – RENO 911!

    Uh, I got this in last night. The State of Nevada is trying to, uh, pass a referendum where, uh, state, and, uh, local government employees cannot have moustaches. ‘Has anyone seen this? Prop 5-5-1?’ – ‘They’re uh…’ – That is [bleep] I find that [bleep]. – ‘Take away our moustaches.’ – That ain’t fair. They will take my moustache from my cold, dead upper lip, my friend. I ain’t coming into work without a ‘stache. Junior, you was born with that moustache, wasn’t you? Hell, yeah. It’s my daddy’s moustache. Or he had a similar one. ‘I don’t want to work here without a moustache.’ ‘I really don’t.’ I…

  • President Trump’s Muslim-Targeted Travel Ban: The Daily Show
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    President Trump’s Muslim-Targeted Travel Ban: The Daily Show

    Let’s get into tonight’s show, and the start of week two of the Donald Trump Presidency. TV REPORTER:Chaotic scenes erupting at airportsaround the world.TV REPORTER:Protests all across the country.TV REPORTER:Denounce President Trump’s temporary banon travelers from seven mostly Muslim countries.TV REPORTER:Lawyers descending on airports.TV REPORTER: Chaos and confusion.Is this the America that we believe in? CROWD: No! -Is this liberty? -CROWD: No! Do you understand how insane this is? People in the airport were pissed, and it’s not because they’re at the airport. Welcome to Trump’s America. That’s how bad “The Donald” is. No matter how bad the situation you’re in, Donald Trump can always make it worse. Like, there…

  • “Attention All Passengers” – Trevor Noah – (Crazy Normal) LONGER RE-RELEASE
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    “Attention All Passengers” – Trevor Noah – (Crazy Normal) LONGER RE-RELEASE

    But the pilots, the pilots are calm, they’re cool you know, you get into the air. they start making useless announcements that you don’t even care about, just to give you that feeling that he knows what he’s doing you get up there as the seat belt lights go *sound of seat belt light* “Ladies and gentlemen as you may have noticed we have reached our cruising altitude” “currently sitting at 23 000 feet above sea level.” “Cruising at about 720km an hour in this Boeing 737” “one of the favourite planes in the star _______________ _______________________” “beautiful sunny day up here, we might encounter a few bumps but nothing…

  • Would You Kill Baby Hitler? – Agree to Disagree
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    Would You Kill Baby Hitler? – Agree to Disagree

    – I’m not gonna take a baby’s head and squeeze it between my butt cheeks to kill it. Just to clarify on camera, I don’t want to ever do that. – Oh yeah, because the butt cheeks is the most disgusting part about killing a baby. – [Interviewer] If you went back in time, would you kill baby Hitler? – No. – Yes. – No. – Definitely. – First of all, I want to start by saying that I hate Nazis. I hate them. I think they’re terrible and I wish they were never born. But, I could not kill baby Hitler because first of all, why baby Hitler? Why…

  • Is Wiegel Dating a Serial Killer? – RENO 911!
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    Is Wiegel Dating a Serial Killer? – RENO 911!

    (Dangle) ‘Good morning, people.’ Well, apparently, the Hells Angels who own that brothel out there, out on 80… They’re doing a program, uh, hand in your gun for a, uh… [clicks tongue] Uh, ***. – ‘Hand job?’ – Yeah. “Hand guns for hand job ***.” That’s what the poster said. Yeah, they wanted us to sponsor that, you know but, uh, up there said, “Unh-unh.” [knock on door] – Hey, guys. – Can I help you, sir? Uh, just the lady out, out front said that maybe I could talk to Trudy for a second. The lady out front was wrong, sir. We are in a meeting. She is working…

  • East/West Bowl Rap Showdown – Key & Peele
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    East/West Bowl Rap Showdown – Key & Peele

    – HEY, JADINKALAGE? – YEAH, L’CARPETRON? – CHECK OUT LEOZ. I WONDER WHAT HE’S DREAMING ABOUT? – HE IS PROBABLY DREAMING ABOUT WHAT WE IS GONNA DO TO THE TEAM FROM THE WEST. – I WONDER. – ♪ T’VARIUSNESS ♪ ♪ T-KING FOR SHORT ♪ ♪ I’M A BAD MAMMA-JAMMA ♪ ♪ AND AN AWFUL SPORT ♪ – ♪ SMOOCHIE-WALLACE ♪ ♪ YOU CAN CALL ME TYROIL ♪ ♪ RAPPIN’ UP RUSHES LIKE ALUMINUM FOIL ♪ – ♪ MCCRINGLEBERRY ♪ ♪ I’M VERY SCARY ♪ ♪ IF I GOT THE BALL YOU BEST BE WARY ♪ – ♪ L’CARPETRON DOOKMARRIOT ♪ ♪ I LOVE THE BALL SO MUCH I WANNA…

  • Key & Peele – Country Music
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    Key & Peele – Country Music

    HEY, ALL I KNOW IS ITS GOOD HAVING ANOTHER BROTHER MOVE INTO THE NEIGHBORHOOD. – HEY, MAN, IT’S GOOD TO HAVE YOU OVER. AND I THINK THAT YOU WILL DIG THIS. – ALL RIGHT. HEY! – HUH? – NICE GUITAR COLLECTION. – OH, THANKS, MAN. HEY, YOU WANNA HEAR SOMETHING? – YEAH, SURE. – ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT. ALL RIGHT, LET’S GET THIS STARTED. LET’S GET THIS STARTED. [playing guitar] ♪ WELL, I’M JUST A GOOD OLD AMERICAN BOY ♪ ♪ WITH A HEART THAT’S RED, WHITE, AND TRUE ♪ ♪ I’M DREAMIN’ OF THE GIRL WITH THE RED HAIR AND FRECKLES ♪ ♪ AND HER EYES LIKE THE SKIES…

  • Key & Peele – East/West College Bowl
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    Key & Peele – East/West College Bowl

    – HI, EVERYBODY, I’M DAVE STASSEN ALONGSIDE GEOFF WORTHING, AND WELCOME TO THE ANNUAL EAST/WEST BOWL, AS WE GET READY TO WATCH SOME OF THE BEST COLLEGE PLAYERS IN THE NATION SHOWCASE THEIR SKILLS IN A CLASSIC SHOWDOWN BETWEEN EAST AND WEST. AND THERE REALLY ARE SOME CHARACTERS ON THIS YEAR’S SQUADS, AREN’T THERE, GEOFF? – THAT’S RIGHT, DAVE. IT DOES SEEM LIKE THE MOST FLAMBOYANT PERSONALITIES CAME TO THE FOREFRONT, AND THEY ARE HERE. LET’S MEET THE PLAYERS FROM THE EAST. [rock music] ♪ – D’MARCUS WILLIUMS, UNIVERSITY OF GEORGIA. – T.J. JUCKSON, WAYNE STATE UNIVERSITY. – T’VARIUSNESS KING, MERRIMACK COLLEGE. – TYROIL SMOOCHIE-WALLACE, UNIVERSITY OF MIAMI. – D’SQUARIUS…