• Trump Airlines Flight 1600 16 Celebrity Defectors Flight to Canada
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    Trump Airlines Flight 1600 16 Celebrity Defectors Flight to Canada

    Ladies and gentlemen this is your captain speaking welcome aboard top-flight 1600 with nonstop service to Canada. We’d like to welcome all our celebrity defectors we’ll get you out of America just as soon as the tower clears us for takeoff. And once we reach our cruising altitude, flight attendants will pass thru the cabin collecting your US citizenship re-nouncement forms and serving complimentary beverages and disposable crying towels. Once you reach the drop zone, will be guided to the exit ramp at the rear of the plane, where you’ll take a crash course on parachute folding and be jettison shortly thereafter. We like to thank you for choosing Trump…

  • Inside Amy Schumer – Time Travel
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    Inside Amy Schumer – Time Travel

    So then Jeff was like, “What’s your excuse for being late today?” And I was like, “I don’t have an excuse, I have a reason.” Good for you. If your body oversleeps, it’s because it needs it. Shh. Will you stop it? That’s what got us kicked out of Guy Fieri’s restaurant. Don’t say I never offered. (giggling) Let’s move in together. It’s only been two weeks. When you know, you know. Yeah. You’re low-maintenance and it just feels okay. It feels right to me, too. Plus, my roommate’s all over me about rent. She’s your stepmom. Why is she even charging you? I don’t know. Mmm. I’m gonna hit…

  • Graduation Commercial – SNL
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    Graduation Commercial – SNL

    >>GRANDMA MIGHT PASS OUT. >>FOR KICKS OFF WITH THE SPEAKER, AMY MITCHELL WHO DOESN’T KNOW HOW TO WORK THAT MIKE. >>SOMETIMES I WISH — AND THAT I COULD STAY AT THIS SCHOOL. >>FOLLOWED BY VALEDICTORIAN OLIVER KLINE. THE SMARTEST KID IN CLASS GIVING THE WORLD’S SALTIEST SPEECH. >>SOME OF US WERE CONSIDERED COOL OR POPULAR AND GIRLS DIDN’T NOTICE ME, BUT IN A FEW YEAR, BOY OH, BOY THINGS ARE GOING TO CHANGE AND YOU WISH YOU HAD GOTTEN ME. CONGRATULATIONS TO THE CLASS OF 2018. >>BITTER MUCH?>>I DIDN’T THINK SO. IT’S TIME FOR THE MAIN EVENT. HANDING OUT DIPLOMAS. ALL YOUR FAVORITES WILL BE THERE WITH GRADS WITH UNFORTUNATE…