RT Shorts – Cop Tickets Self-Driving Car
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RT Shorts – Cop Tickets Self-Driving Car

License and registration please. Hello, Officer. My name is Hopscotch. I do not have a license. I am an autonomous vehicle. Driving without a license, huh? I am a self-driving car. I meet all safety requirements. Nice looking vehicle you got here. Did you steal it? I’m sorry, I don’t understand the question, but I assure you, I am in full compliance. What are you trying to pull here!? I am not fitted with towing capabilities. Oh yeah, you’re very funny. *audible dinging* The fuck was that? Hopscotch: A service alert. It seems my…
Officer: Shut up! Just shut the fuck up or I will taze you. There is no need for that, officer. Get your hands in the air! I do not have hands. Get on the fucking ground and do it! Officer requesting backup. We got a car resisting arrest. Perp is on foot. Son, I’m taking you in. Sir? Tragedy struck today. When once again, a minor altercation between a police officer and a self driving car turned deadly. We go now to the scene of this most recent tragedy. To our knowledge, the officer acted appropriately, to what he perceived to be a threat to his own personal safety. The officer believed the car was armed. Yes, in fact, the officer in question identified a knife. The car was going to stab him? Yes, that’s right. Don’t you find that hard to believe considering cars have no hands. Um. Listen, we see all kinds of things in our line of work Sometimes people hide blades in their hair. Or in their mouths, for example. Again, characteristics not consistent with cars. Every cars different. I don’t proclaim to be a car expert. I’m just a simple chief of police. So I don’t know the feature set of every car out there. Are you suggesting that some cars come with mouths and hair? Yes. We look now to a peaceful protest that’s been going on since 5 o clock today. But they’re not just marching. some cars are opting to take a longer term approach by occupying areas outside of businesses. As you’ll notice behind me, the cars have arranged themselves in designated areas seperated by white lines, and turned off their engines. Making it perfectly clear, they aren’t going anywhere. Get down on the ground! Oh, oh God! That is not right! This protest has turned bloody – if you will. I’m not here to hurt you! You have the right to remain silent! Stop resisting! Cease and desist! Hold him down! You like that, you piece of shit! What are you hiding asshole? Check his hair for weapons next! Are you carrying anything that could hurt me? (Horn Beeps) SHUT UP! Don’t make me do it! I will fucking end you! Look, this is a major issue ok. We have to make it a top priority for these bad apples to change the way they look at not only robot cars, but drones and puppets as well. Well, that just boils your bones, doesn’t it? I don’t think I’ve ever heard of a more horrific case of police brutality, in the history of this country. You really care, Erin. Now, who… Actually, Erin I have a – I’m sorry that’s all the time we have for today. Thank you for watching. Please join us next time. You get to see life sized assets, you would see in a video game. These are always awesome. Although, we did lost a couple of crew members to an arrow wall. Which I’m pretty sure our insurance covers. ATTACK!


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