East/West Bowl Rap Showdown – Key & Peele
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East/West Bowl Rap Showdown – Key & Peele


– HEY, JADINKALAGE? – YEAH, L’CARPETRON? – CHECK OUT LEOZ. I WONDER WHAT
HE’S DREAMING ABOUT? – HE IS PROBABLY DREAMING
ABOUT WHAT WE IS GONNA DO TO THE TEAM FROM THE WEST. – I WONDER. – ♪ T’VARIUSNESS ♪ ♪ T-KING FOR SHORT ♪ ♪ I’M A BAD MAMMA-JAMMA ♪ ♪ AND AN AWFUL SPORT ♪ – ♪ SMOOCHIE-WALLACE ♪ ♪ YOU CAN CALL ME TYROIL ♪ ♪ RAPPIN’ UP RUSHES
LIKE ALUMINUM FOIL ♪ – ♪ MCCRINGLEBERRY ♪ ♪ I’M VERY SCARY ♪ ♪ IF I GOT THE BALL
YOU BEST BE WARY ♪ – ♪ L’CARPETRON DOOKMARRIOT ♪ ♪ I LOVE THE BALL SO MUCH
I WANNA MARRY IT ♪ all: ♪ ‘CAUSE THE EASTERN
SCHOOL’S ♪ ♪ GONNA BEAT THE FOOLS
FROM THE WEST ♪ – OH, YEAH. all: ♪ WHERE FOOTBALL’S
CONCERNED ♪ ♪ WE GONNA SHOW YOU
THAT WE ARE THE BEST ♪ – ♪ WE ARE THE BEST ♪ – ♪ I’M IBRAHIM MOIZOOS ♪ ♪ AND MY RHYMES ARE CLEAN
LIKE MY NAME IS DR. SEUSS ♪ – ♪ PROBINCRUZ III ♪ ♪ THEY CALL ME “THE PROBE” ♪ ♪ I CAN INTERCEPT BALLS ♪ ♪ WITH MY EARLOBE ♪ – ♪ SHOWER-HANDEL ♪ ♪ THAT’S MY NAME ♪ ♪ POWER CANDLE SOUNDS THE SAME ♪ – ♪ WITH JACKMERIUS ♪
– ♪ D’SQUARIUS ♪ – ♪ AND JAVARISON-LAMAR ♪ – ♪ FLACKAWAXA PLAYS SAX AND ♪ ♪ D’MARCUS PLAYS GUITAR ♪ all:
♪ ‘CAUSE THE EASTERN SCHOOL’S ♪ ♪ GONNA BEAT THE FOOLS
FROM THE WEST ♪ – ♪ OKAY ♪ ♪ DON’T YOU KNOW ♪ all:
♪ WHERE FOOTBALL’S CONCERNED ♪ ♪ WE GONNA SHOW YOU
THAT WE ARE THE BEST ♪ – ♪ INDEEDY, WE ARE THE BEST ♪ – [gasps] IT MUST HAVE BEEN
ALL A DREAM. [gasps] OR WAS IT? – OH, IT’S ON. – ♪ WHAT’S UP, Y’ALL ♪ ♪ IT’S JEFFERSPIN ♪ ♪ I’M THE BIG LEFT TACKLE ♪ ♪ GONNA HELP US WIN ♪ – ♪ X-WING AT ALYSSIUSNESS ♪ ♪ I’LL USE MY FORCE
TO GIVE THE EAST DISTRESS ♪ – ♪ ALGERNON-SPLATTER’S
WHERE IT’S AT ♪ ♪ RUNNING THROUGH DEFENDERS
AND PADDING MY STATS ♪ – ♪ Y’ALL KNOW ME ♪ ♪ I’M WASHINGBEARD ♪ ♪ CATCH SO MANY BALLS
IT’S A LITTLE WEIRD ♪ all: ♪ ‘CAUSE YOU KNOW WE GONNA
WIN AGAINST THE EAST ♪ – ♪ LISTEN WHAT WE SAID ♪ all: ♪ WE GONNA GET
THE MOST POINTS ♪ ♪ AND THEY GONNA GET THE LEAST ♪ – ♪ JUST TRYIN’ TO CALM THE
VOICES RUNNING THROUGH MY HEAD ♪ – ♪ BACK IT UP ♪ ♪ IT’S HARDUNKACHUD ♪ ♪ I HIT THE Q.B. AND MAKE
A NOISE LIKE THUD ♪ – ♪ CAN’T BLOCK ME
AND ALL OF THAT JAZZ ♪ ♪ ‘CAUSE Y’ALL DON’T WANT NONE
OF THIS OZAMATAZZ ♪ – ♪ THE PLAYER… ♪ – ♪ TJ AJ ♪ – ♪ FORMERLY KNOWN… ♪ – [screeches] [construction noises] – ♪ LOUITH ♪ – ♪ AS MOUSECOP ♪ – ♪ AND DONKEY TEETH ♪ – ♪ I’M THE TOUCHDOWN MAN ♪ ♪ THAT’S GRUNDLEPLINTH ♪ ♪ BUT Y’ALL AIN’T READY ♪ ♪ FOR MY MAN DAN SMITH ♪ – ♪ YO YO ♪ ♪ SMITH COMMA DANIEL ♪ ♪ OTHER KICKERS IN THE LEAGUE
DON’T HOLD A CANDLE ♪ ♪ CHEERLEADERS UP ON
MY CHOCOLATE CROTCH ♪ ♪ THOSE GODDAMN
BABY COCKER SPANIEL ♪ ♪ B.Y.U.
WHY YOU BE ♪ ♪ MAD ‘CAUSE THE BITCHES
WANNA GET WITH ME ♪ ♪ GOT SWISHER SWEETS
AND DUTCHIES ♪ ♪ ROLLIN’ ON
NO OTHER TEAM CAN TOUCH THESE ♪ ♪ HITTIN’ FIELD GOALS
BLUNTED ♪ ♪ BEEN DRUNK WHEN I PUNTED ♪ ♪ BEEN LIKE A HUNDRED TIMES ♪ ♪ THAT I ALREADY DONE IT ♪ ♪ OH, [bleep] ♪ ♪ SEE THESE HATERS
THOUGHT I WAS PLAYIN’ ♪ ♪ STAYIN’ AWAY FROM MY FACES ♪ ♪ WITH ALL THE BULL[bleep]
THEY SAYIN’ ♪ ♪ BUT JUST REMEMBER
WHO YOU TAUNTIN’ ♪ ♪ WHEN YOU TOSSIN’
THOSE GAUNTLETS ♪ ♪ I’M DAN SMITH AND THE WEST IS
GETTIN’ ROWDY LIKE MONSTERS ♪ [all cheer]

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