Black People Telepathy – Key & Peele
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Black People Telepathy – Key & Peele


ALL THE WAY DOWN AT THE END. – MM-HMM. – YOU HAVE YOUR OWN ATTACHED
BATHROOM, BY THE WAY. OH, UM, HERE’S ONE
OF OUR BEST RESEARCHERS. DICK?
– HEY. – AH, HELLO THERE. [dramatic music]
WHAT’S UP, DUDE? GLAD TO SEE
THERE’S ANOTHER BROTHER IN THIS STUFFY PLACE. – SO, UH, THIS IS GONNA BE
YOUR ASSISTANT, GENEVIEVE. [dramatic music]
– WHAT IS THIS? – IT’S THE SHINING, MAN. ALL BLACK PEOPLE
HAVE THE SHINING. YOU NEVER SHINED WITH
ANOTHER BLACK PERSON BEFORE? – NO, I GREW UP IN A WHITE NEIGHBORHOOD
AND THEN WENT TO DARTMOUTH. I’VE MET
OTHER BLACK PEOPLE BEFORE, BUT NOT LIKE THIS. – YOU GOTTA GET SHINED AT
BY ANOTHER BLACK PERSON FIRST, AND THEN YOU GET IT.
IT’S KINDA LIKE FACEBOOK. [dramatic music]
– WHAT UP, DUDES? – SO EVERY BLACK PERSON
HAS THIS? IS KOBE LISTENING? – [voice of Kobe Bryant]
YO, WHAT UP? – WOW! DENZEL WASHINGTON? – [voice of Denzel Washington]
I’M HERE, I’M PRESENT, AND I WILL ALWAYS
BE AROUND. – LIL JON? – [voice of Lil Jon]
YEAH! – [voice of Barack Obama]
EXCUSE ME, LIL JON. WELCOME, RAY. I’M GLAD TO HAVE YOU
ON BOARD. – OH, [bleep]!
WHAT’S UP, BARACK OBAMA? AHEM! [chuckles] WOULDN’T THAT BE SOMETHING
IF BARACK OBAMA JUST SHOWED UP? – YOUR START-UP PAPERWORK’S
RIGHT OVER HERE. [dramatic music]
– MAN, YOU GOTTA BE MORE CAREFUL. LEARN TO USE THE SHINING. TUNE IN AND OUT OF IT.
OTHERWISE, YOU WON’T BE ABLE
TO SORT OUT WHO’S TALKING. – AND I’M SICK OF THESE
GODDAMN SNAKES… – JUST GIVE ME
THE BASKETBALL! – ON THIS GODDAMN PLANE! – HERE, YO, COCO, WHAT
YOU WANT TO DRINK, GIRL? – LEO, WHAT ARE YOU DOING? – DRINK SOME COLT 45
MALT LIQUOR. [overlapping voices]
– WOMEN DIG CHOCOLATE! – IS EVERYTHING OKAY? [dramatic music]
– RAY! LISTEN FOR MORGAN.
MORGAN FREEMAN. HE WILL GUIDE YOU. – [voice of Morgan Freeman]
LISTEN TO MY VOICE, RAY. NOW, JUST STAY CALM
AND FOCUS ON THAT WHITE MAN. – [exhales] EVERYTHING’S
GOING TO BE OKAY. – ONCE YOU FINISH UP
THIS PAPERWORK, BRING IT TO JENNIFER
IN MY OFFICE. – [voice of Morgan Freeman]
NOW, PICK UP THAT LETTER OPENER, AND KILL THAT WHITE MAN.

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